Bribe material: Now affixed to Judge Phil's laptop.
Taped to the inside of the windshield to remind drivers to drive the way the Son of Orange County would have wanted: Paranoid and ready to crush skulls.
Real reason: Nixon Smash.
Bribe material: Gerald Ford at his finest
Bribe material: Remember when Beechcraft advertised in news magazines? Me neither.
Bribe material with sweet old car ads
Bribe material: Fitting, isn't it?
BS Inspection Schwag.
Bribe material: Ebay Bricklin SV-1 watch
Thursday load-up: Nixon fits!
Thursday load-up: Meh, safe enough...
Driver's door livery
Plenty of headroom
Everything in its right place
Nixon looking happy...happy-ish, anyway.
LeMons double as storage lockers.
Star Mazda at Autobahn. ::drool::
Star Mazdas running the open North Course on Friday.
Johnny and his pit bike. It's for sale, by the way.
Reliant Robin Judgemobile FTW!
LeMons judges sweating them good.
Skid Marks Neon at Friday practice. Note active aerodynamics system on rear wing.
Mercury Capri at Friday practice
Yes, that is a Dodge Intrepid. Yes, it broke during Friday practice. Yes, it only ran two laps all weekend. Yes, one of the team members looked like the Monopoly guy.
#240 Volvo smoking in Friday practice. I don't remember this car running at all during the race.
Launcha Splatos in Friday practice.
View from observation deck to the far corner (Turn 8).
Gratuitous Launcha Splatos photo.
Yes, this is Joliet.
VW Squareback wagon. Super cool. Well, maybe. The engine is in the back, so have fun cooling that.
Bucksnort E30 at Friday practice.
Latch-Key Kids Neon in Friday practice.
Joe Dirt Caprice in Friday practice.
Judge Phil bringing the hammer (and sickle) down on the People's Escort.
Gray Poopon Civic at BS Inspection
Skid Steer Bobcat's Friday engine swap
Team Skid Steer Bobcat instrument cluster
This was my first "Yes, yes, you are definitely at LeMons moment." (Kermit's Wild Ride RX-7)
Little Lebowski Urban Achievers Volvo 245
Byte Marks: The People's Escort
Team Flaming Fiero passes their re-tech. Have I mentioned that these guys are awesome pit neighbors? No? Well, they're awesome pit neighbors.
Judge Phil approves of this stencil.
Team Resignation paddock space, Friday afternoon.
1998 #20 Dyson Racing Le Mans Prototype running the North Course
Gratuitous LMP photo
Ready for the race
TR Secret Service works to secure Nixon for the race. Does anyone else think he looks a bit apprehensive?
Autumn sunset over a race track? Yes, please.
Race day before sunrise
Race day before sunrise - Latch Key Kids
Race day before sunrise. Poor a little 93 octane out for Dale, plz.
Race day before sunrise - Team Underpants. I didn't get their full story, but they didn't last long again this year.
Race day before sunrise - Racing 4 Nickels, Don't Mess with Lexas, Team Lebowski
Race day before sunrise - Don't Mess with Lexas
Race day before sunrise - Team Lebowski
Race day before sunrise - Strange Crew RX-7
Race day before sunrise - Rotary-powered Opel GT
Sunrise at last
Parade laps - down the hill after turn 3!
The Mutt Cutts Neon is an early casualty.
The #8 Gray Poopon Civic on its way to an 18th place finish.
Racing 4 Nickels begins the long trip toward IOE legend status.
Launcha Splatos and the Byte Marks' Escort
Nixon doesn't look so good at race speed.
Oh my god, your face!!
Class B Winner Eurotrash Racing's Jetta with arm-pumping action!
Free Candy Racing - Now available for birthday parties!!!
Team Resignation, Skid Steer Bobcat, and the Charnal House MetSHrO
TR passes the Bobcat.
Short-lived 999 Jetta bears the Nixon stencil!
Nixon stencil close-up!
Gratuitous Bobcat shot. Love those orange wheels.
Team Flaming Fiero before their car found its cojones.
Byte Marks Escort. Such a great livery. They led B class for a while, but brake problems late led them to a 19th overall finish, 2nd in B.
Kiko drives the Escort on Sunday.
Nixon, holy crap!
Another car gets the Nixon stencil.
Skid Marks leading a pack of cars.
Bobcat and Gaguar.
Kiko driving on Sunday.
Star Mazdas on the North Course, Sunday morning.
Little Lebowski Urban Achiever Volvo 245
The Mangled Crown Vic
Murph trundling along
Kiko driving sometime after getting hit. Notice missing left headlight and dented front left quarterpanel.
Kiko driving sometime after getting hit. Notice missing left headlight.
The lovely Joliet scenery!
Entering Turn 4
Radial Fryer CRX
Swiss Racing E30 on its way to a 5th place finish.
Track Pillagerz and the MetSHrO
Alfa Berlina. Too much sexy!
Kiko driving sometime after getting hit. Notice missing left headlight and dented front left quarterpanel. Also, Nixon disapproves.
Three-wide into Turn 1
Close-up of the damage
Kiko does his Ayrton Senna impression.
Judge Phil doles out punishment to the Fiat X1/9 team.
Judge Phil doles out punishment to the Fiat X1/9 team while Kiko offers words of discouragement.
Gratuitous Bobcat shot. The Fiat broke down during their penalty at this moment.
Smokey Saturn and the Bandit's brake fire/self-fulfilling prophecy
Gratuitous Racing 4 Nickels photo
Gratuitous Nixon stencil photo
Clueless Racing CRX. These guys took their second overall win at Joliet.
Team Flaming Fiero: This car is super fast when everything is working right. But 240 HP and less than a ton of weight will do that.
Free Candy Racing and the #24 Cavalier enjoy the beautiful surroundings.
Byte Marks and the Dai Mondai I FX16
The last hour of the race
Charnal House MetSHrO
Gratuitous Pedo-Car photo
Vultures gliding over Turn 13 toward the end of the race to prey on The Weak.
Little Lebowski Urban Achievers' functioning brake light stop sign
Hot Escort-on-Escort action (GIF coming soon)
The MetSHrO's hood really looked like it was about to fly up at this point, but the photos don't really capture it.
The vultures moved to Million Dollar Corner after a bit.
Rotary-powered Opel GT makes it on track on its way to the Heroic Fix trophy.
The final countdown...
#78 Ford Fiesta smoking a bit into Turn 1. On the way down the hill from Turn 3, there was an audible pop and a puff of smoke, and the Fiesta didn't run under its own power after that.
The Dai Mondai II MR2 limps to the finish.
Gratuitous MetSHrO photo
Gratuitous Swiss Racing photo. This car was extremely loud and extremely fast.
Skid Marks' active aerodynamics in full usage. Made me crack up while driving when I saw that.
Clueless Racing takes the checkered flag, winning by 5 laps despite having no clutch and only 3rd gear for the last couple hours.
Launcha Splatos and the Save the Ta-Tas Camaro take the checkered.
Team Resignation crosses the finish line with a good pack of cars: Swiss Racing E30, Skid Marks Neon, Opel GT, and the Fail Shark Neon.
The #44 CRX finishes with a smoke show and one fewer connecting rod than it started the with. (GIF coming soon)
A few cars breeze through the #44 CRX's fog to cross the finish line.
Clueless Racing douses their driver with bottled urine. Or water. I'm not really sure.
I tried to take a picture of the Free Candy Racing livery, but my camera got creeped out and wouldn't focus on it.
The MetSHrO getting much-deserved High-Fives.
Byte Marks returns to pit to greet the masses.
The #79 Fiesta gets the Nixon treatment.
Reliant Robin judgmobile. (Photo by Norbert)
Trophy table and penalty pumpkins (Photo by Norbert)
(Photo by Norbert)
Clueless Racing in the winner's circle
Pabst Blue Racing at the awards ceremony
My final, "Yes, yes, you are at LeMons moment."
Racing 4 Nickels collect their hard-earned IOE prize. I am told that they unfortunately received a check rather than $1501 in nickels.
Sunset over the winner's circle.
Racing 4 Nickels = IOE goodness and good people. Congrats fellas!
Skid Steer Bobcat shows some wear and tear.
Nixon lasted the whole race
Team Resignation - 57th overall (of 98 teams), 23rd fastest lap of the weekend.
Nixon takes time to thank our (very unofficial) sponsor and to have an aneurysm.
Nixon appears less-than-thrilled at having been on a race car for 14.5 hours of racing...
...also, he's coated in god-knows-what.
On the way home.
The bribe that arrived too late: Chrysler TC by Maserati watch. Maybe next year...
...though it does look striking on my wrist.