My Uncle Rick really doesn't like getting his picture taken.
Jessica and Chris.
Chris says, “Yes, this will be all mine. Thanks for your hard work.”
My auntie.
Cocktail shrimp. Mommy did not make this; Pathmark did.
Mommy shifts into action.
Mommy wonders how we are going to move the turkey.
A moment of repose ...
... is instantly shattered.
Corgi offers to move the turkey into his mouth.
Offer denied.
We prepare for the turkey's arrival.
WTF is this?! Woman, I told you I don't eat that baboon-ass-for-face poultry shit!
Mommy prepares to gut a guest and carve the turkey.
Corgi wonders if it's all for him.
My fiancee.
The turkey was already falling apart. Only my mommy seemed to think this was bad.
Mommy prepares another course.
Chris prepares to record “Survivor” for himself and Mommy. This is apparently very important.
Jessica using that birthday present that I had shipped for her from Shinjuku, Tokyo. It's pink!
My auntie says, “I thought it was supposed to be pink?” Oh, bother. (From left to right: Jessica, Chris, Auntie, and Grandma.)
Jessica explains color theory and visual perception to my auntie. My auntie is, like, whatever.
Is it really all for me?
Grandparents on left, Auntie and Mommy on right.
Chris guesses that you can have some of his food.
Chris practices a model pose while wondering about the minimum caloric intake of others.
Corgi (at bottom) asks if he gets his choice of beverage along with his feast. Meanwhile, Chris fills up a bowl of Purina.
Meanwhile, Grandma prepares to eat.
Corgi finishes his Purina. Reality crashes around him.
Corgi says, “I hate you all.” This sounds like a whimper, though, and we all laugh.
I like this one.
Chris says, “Yeah, okay, this booze is all for me. You will see.”
Everyone ignores me as Mommy prepares to take a picture off-frame.
This is all Jessica and I were able to offer: cupcakes from Martha's Country Bakery in Astoria. My mommy's cheesecake felt upstaged.
“These are all for me too. Please enjoy looking at it.”
