Sunset over the Amazon River.
Giant fish from the Amazon River.
Belém from the Amazon River...I actually like ending every caption with "the Amazon River."
A boat...that most likely has voyaged...many times...on the Amazon River.
Three dudes on a motorcycle. Probably not the safest picture to be taking when going 25mph on a water buffalo-filled street.
Fruit market in Belém.
Walter Buffalo...my arch nemesis.
Pat riding his friendly water buffalo (unlike my arch nemesis, Walter Buffalo), Turista.
Water buffaloes -- low on the intelligence list of God's creatures. But they sure do know how to enjoy a mud pit.
Water buffaloes are everywhere in Souré.
The opening scene from the new hit movie "Megafox Dance Party." Starring "Attractive Dancer", and some chick dancing with him.
The bridge through the mangroves to the beach.
Amazon River beach.
Our tour guide -- Silent Steve -- on our beach tour.
VW van on the beach. Most likely a lost hippie. "Whoa, man, this beach is, like, far out...man." Hippies.
Parque Lencois Maranhenses.
Awww...adorable.
It was not long after I attempted take off, that I realized I probably wouldn't make across this lake as I had presumed.
Natural lagoons in Lencois Maranhenses.
More natural lagoons.
Setting sail in Jericocoara.
The sandy streets at 6AM in Jericocoara.
Sand dune on the sand beach in sandy Jericocoara. There's a lot of sand in Northern Brazil.
Sand dune sunset.
The mean streets of Canoa Quebrada.
Sand cliffs in Canoa Quebrada. I told you there's a lot of sand in Northern Brazil.
Fishing boat on the beach.
Pat and I on the cliffs during our dune buggy tour. If you like my shirt, you too can purchase one at www.dumptruckstuff.com. (You owe me 10% royalties Reagan).
Our dune buggy in Canoa Quebrada. Right after this picture, we flew off a sand cliff in this rickety death trap.
Doing what I do best...sweating profusely from such intensive activities as breathing, sleeping, or just standing there. Even sweating makes me sweat.
Our Spanish friends -- Nacho (Cheese) and Carlota.
I'm voting Alf for Mayor of Olinda! He eats cats and is from Outer Space. Why wouldn't you vote for him?
Colonial Olinda with Recife in the background.
Olinda.
Two crackers and a bunch of Brazilians in Olinda.
A giant creepy Carnaval doll that still haunts my nightmares.
Colorful houses in Olinda.
More streets. These adorned with colorful gringos.
Not sure what this sign is trying to promote. Maybe: "Olinda -- Best Carnaval in the World...especially if you're a Klansmen."
Natalia, Old Prospector, and me. Old Prospector looks a little shocked at me sitting in his lap. I just hope he doesn't start mining for gold...
Either Pat just puked in a bowl, or that's a fine dish of Bahian Bobó. I ate some, so let's just hope it's the latter.
O Pelourinho in Salvador.
Salvador.
It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's me trying to do a somersault in capoeira! I broke both my arms attempting this move...
Haha! Pat's trying a somersault too! Also, this picture was taken just nanoseconds before I kicked my opponent's head clean off.
The Old Elevator from the Pelourinho to the Barrio Baixo.
Salvador's harbor.
The favela near the Pelourinho.
Two Salvadoran street drummers.
Limbo lower now! While furiously attempting to maneuver under this stick, Pat's left armpit began to sweat.
The Pelourinho at night. Spookyville.
An Italian, me, and a German acting spooky in the Pelourinho.
Obama. Everyone loves him in Latin America. If he loses, I will most likely be living in a country smart enough to appreciate him. Brasil, maybe?
Igreja do Bonfim. A church where many Candomblé believers leave plastic body parts to receive miracles to cure their real body parts. When no one was looking, I pieced some of these parts together, and finally ended up with a girlfriend.
"Hey...uh...God? You there, Man? Sorry about all that sinning...my bad. I hope you still like me. Sincerely, Jeff Wheeland."
Us in Salvador.
Me rocking out in the favela before a Candomblé ceremony.
A view of the favela.
Drummers in Salvador, on Tuesday, the big street party night.
The ladder to heaven...well...at least that's probably as close as I'm gonna ever get.
The castle wall around the lighthouse in Salvador.
Crazy angle of the lighthouse walls.
The reason the Happiest Farm on Earth is so happy: the Happiest Bar on Earth.
"When the hell is that tiny train supposed to get to this tiny station?"
The tiniest tea party. How f'ing cute is that?
Tinyville.
The Fattest Dog on Earth vs Pat. It consumed him seconds later.
Too many jokes about Helio's fat dog got me in big trouble.
No offense to the dude on the left, Helio, myself, or Pat, but the dude in black's name is Butters, and he's the coolest guy in Brazil.
Heeeeellooooo laaaaadies...
This bar ain't big enough for the both of us, turbo.
Sao Paolo. A big ass city.
Butters, Helio, Me and Pat. The Corinthians fanclub.
Celebrating a big Corinthians win with Josefine.
Sunset over Maracaná stadium.
Me and Zee Germans in Maracaná.
100 foot Jesus overlooking Rio de Janeiro. He seems to be saying, in all His Glory, "What up, Rio. What up."
Rio. A damn picturesque city.
Pao de Açucar in Rio.
Me on top of Pao de Açucar.
Pao de Açucar from an old tram car.
Ladies, ladies, ladies. And you thought I was taking a picture of the beach in Ipanema. You should know better. You're dealing with a first-class creep.
Ipanema beach. Notice the giant favela on the mountainside. Great views if you don't get shot in the eyeballs.
On top of Pao de Açucar.
Rio. Notice the Jesus statue in the upper right of the picture, who is seeming to say, in all His Glory, "What up Rio. What up."
Yes! Probably the All-Time greatest name for any bar on Earth -- The Wassup Bar and Fun Place.
Eliminating my enemies -- tiny piranhas.
Fishing for dinner, unless I fall in, then I technically will be dinner.
Thumbs up to you, alligator.
This one's too big to put my thumb near.
Me in the Pantanal. The life jacket simply makes me a floating appetizer for the piranhas and alligators.
The total wilderness of the Pantanal.
Me and the gang on top of the Pantanal hill.
The Brazilian side of Iguaçu Falls.
More Brazilian Iguaçu.
The Argentine side of Iguazú Falls.
More Argentine Iguazú.
And some more.
A little more.
I hope you like waterfall pictures. The rainbow is actually NOT photoshopped in. However, I might photoshop myself doing a reverse gainer of the waterfall at a later date.
Off I go to Argentina...but I still love you Brasil.
