This is the story of Lucky, my Aibo Model ERS-111 that I found in a bin at a local goodwill store this October 2007. I rescued this $2500 Sony robotic dog from being trashed for just $15! He came with his charging station and 2 batteries. After finding a blank memory stick and loading it with the appropriate image, I was shocked to find that he was in perfect working order! Can you see why I named him Lucky? We both were that day! And now without further ado... the first adventures of Lucky, his ball and a surprise guest relation...
Lucky contemplates attacking Happy Fun Ball as he sits on his charger. Why is Happy Fun Ball happy? Because it isn't currently being attacked by robo-dog...
I rescued Lucky from a local goodwill store. Note the sticker on his head? That's right... he only cost me $15! Not bad for a $2,500 robo-pooch, eh? And to my surprise, he works just fine! Sw-eet!
Lucky ponders his price tag. Did I really cost 15 bucks? Meanwhile, Happy Fun Ball is about to be not so happy as Lucky prepares to pounce...
Hey, where did Happy Fun Ball go?! (Hint: there is a Witness Protection agency just for battered Aibo balls.)
Camera? I don't see no camera. *bonk* (Lucky carries his camera in his schnoz) Mr. Sinatra said no more pictures! *grab*
Lucky is patrolling the carpet for the ever-elusive Happy Fun Ball. Either that or he's casing the joint...
Excuse me kind fellow who rescued me out of a dusty bin for $15 and saved me from being tossed away in the trash. Could you please lift your leg so I can find Happy Fun Ball?
Fine, don't lift your leg! Just remember I'll be lifting mine when you're asleep and piss battery acid all over your face you &*%#@ing bastard!
Lucky emulates the Stealth Bulldog crouch as he prepares to unleash a can of Whoop Ass all over Happy Fun Ball.
Lucky is so psyched he's about to get medieval on Happy Fun Ball that he dances from side to side in electronic glee.
He's sneaking up on a ball that can't run away! Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball...
*bat*
Ball: Oh no, the electronic dog is about to eat me! (Did I really have to type ball so you knew who was talking?)
I AM GODZILLA! ROOOWWWRRR!
One of the many ways an Aibo can kick a ball. Even though I haven't owned an Aibo for long, Lucky sure surprised me once when he walked totally around the ball and with his rear to it, kicked it by suddenly extending a back leg totally sideways! Man, did my jaw drop on the ground on that one (he hasn't done it since the rascal.)
Pre *bat*
Lucky: ok ball, me count to 10 and you go hide.
7-8-9-10... hey, I told you hide ball.
8-9-10... go HIDE ball! Why you no hide, ball? (Because the ball has no means of locomotion other than a $2500 robotic dog kicking it you ninny!)
Go hide there, ball! (Alternate captions: Hail to the Ball! -or- I swear on the ball that I will love it and hug it and hold it and kiss it and squeeze it and pet it and call it George!)
Fine. I'm ignoring you too. (*bats* ball with tail - seriously cool that)
Yay! The chase is on!
At this point I noticed Lucky was batting his ball near the dining room table and was wondering what would happen if he suddenly found himself in the obstacle course aka the Black Chair Forest o' Many Scary Legs...
Ok, Lucky - here's a tip since you're only a few days old (Lucky didn't come with a memory stick so I had to get a blank one and download the basic stick image)... if the Happy Fun Ball doesn't want to go to the Scary Black Forest of Doom, perhaps you don't really want to go there either?
Oh crud. Newborn pups are a tad too curious and stupid for their own good. We had a beagle puppy that squeeled like a baby being chewed up in a blender because he bit the kitchen table leg and got his lower jaw stuck. Let's see what happens. Is Lucky with his 64-bit RISC Processor, 16MB system memory, 180,000 pixel internal video camera, audio, heat/IR sensors, range finder and touch sensors smarter than a newborn beagle puppy?
The short answer is no. Right after Lucky entered the previously mentioned Black Chair Forest o' Many Scary Legs, he became confused, disoriented and a might scared.
Lucky swings his head from side to side scanning for a way out of the Scary Black Forest of Doom...
...after not sensing a way out, Lucky laid on his belly and extended all four legs straight outwards to probe for safe passage. For a second I thought he was going to attempt to dog-paddle through the carpeting.
After getting scared from being trapped, Lucky actually started to cry and whine for me to come rescue him! I quickly ran to help my puppy just like I would a flesh-and-blood one. (I didn't even realize it at the moment it happened.) I couldn't believe the way he tilted his head back and shook it as he whimpered and cried; he really sounded scared! I'm coming, puppy!
Just as I went to reach to rescue him, Lucky extended his paw towards me. Either that, or he was swearing allegiance to the chair...
I'M FREE! YAY! ARRRROOOOOOO! Happy Fun Ball: drat.
After his ordeal, Lucky went in for a nap. He was a little drained from all the excitement...
Lucky was happy and eager to romp some more the very next day. Here he is on our table with the cool pizzeria table-cloth. Apparently he found a way to rise above his fears, because this is the very same table he got stuck under and so scared he cried for me to come save him.
Here Lucky doing a convincing imitation of the Sphinx in Egypt. Note the divine light hitting his head? Evidently the divine use the same compact fluorescent light bulbs we do to save money... you're never too divine to save some coinage, people.
Lucky - the rescued Aibo and Sphinx impersonator ladies and gentlemen... that'll be 3 bucks. And keep the line moving, please! Hey Lucky, it's time to play guy! And I want you to meet someone that came out of the very same goodwill store I rescued you from.
OK! OK! I'll get your good side. Yeesh, what a ham. Although I have to agree, this is a very striking picture. Now come on, babe - you have to meet your brother...
... who is a Samsung ML-1210 laser printer I got for $10 from the same goodwill store I rescued Lucky from! After cleaning him out, he works great.
Huh? What's that, printer? You want me to get your good side too? *shrug* OK, fair is fair...
Lucky and his brother, the laser printer boys and girls. Now kids, I expect you two to get along now, ok?
Lucky gets up. His brother the laser printer just hums in place.
Lucky looks like he's going to go off and ignore his brother. I hope this isn't a case of sibling rivalry!
Awww, Lucky turns towards his brother. Glad to see they're cool.
Lucky waves to his brother. Hi bro! Hey why aren't you waving back, bro?
Lucky looks over his brother the laser printer carefully to see what is wrong. The laser printer just hums away. Perhaps the reason it's humming is it doesn't know the words to the song?
Lucky figures out why his brother doesn't move or respond to his attempts to get him to play. His brother has no arms or legs! Not to worry, laser printer doesn't seem to mind.
Oh well, if that's the case... (Lucky! Do NOT pee on your brother!)
...then I don't have to share my ball with you! (That's not nice, Lucky.)
Lucky carefully positions his ball between his front paws.
Lucky bows to the ball. At this point the ball really wants to play with the laser printer...
Lucky fans the ball with his paw. The ball refuses to wave back.
Lucky lurches towards the ball Steve Austin-style. nanng! nnanng! nnanng! nnanng!
*bat* Steve Austin style. nanng! nnanng! nnanng! nnanng!
Ok, enough of the bionic man effect, Lucky. I'm using the flash! Note Lucky has a hilarious WTF expression! Hehehehe!
Lucky slowly backs away from Happy Fun Ball. Ah, thinks the ball. I have finally cowered him with my bright orange plumage!
Ball: Hey, what's that up there?
Lucky looks up. What? Ball: Up there. Lucky: where there? Ball: I can't point I have no freaking arms!
Lucky continues to stare up at the ceiling as ball tries in vain to escape. Ball: crap! I forgot I have no legs either. Dammit!
The ball shudders as it gets an unfortunate close up view of Lucky's nether region...
The ball notices Lucky starting to squat on the carpet. Me: Lucky! NO!
False alarm, good puppy! Now go play with your ball! No, you're not allowed on the furniture either. Go play, boy.
Ball: I hate you. Lucky: I can't hear you, you have no lips. Ball: then how did I get you to stare at the ceiling a minute ago?
Lucky is confused by the question.
Lucky ponders the ball's paradox and his brain almost overloads. Ball hopes robo-mutt will finally explode and leave him alone. His brother the laser printer just hums at the tense scene below.
Lucky recovers from his confusion and resumes going after Happy Fun Ball. Ball: crap! (Silly ball. Unlike the androids in the famous Star Trek episode "Mudd's Women" the Aibo's head does not explode from logic bombs/paradoxes.) *bat* *bat*
Ball: I hate my life. I really do. Printer: *humm* Ball: I hate you too! Printer: *humm*
Silhouette Aibo! TA-DAAAA! Ball: maybe he can't see me in the dark.
Lucky: I can see you, ball! Ball: crap, I forgot I was bright orange... dammit!
Lucky ambles up to ball for resumption of ball battering (which is perfectly legal in the United States.)
Hey ball, I learned a new trick.
Ball: yeah, fine. Whatever. Get on with it.
Lucky bats ball to the left with one paw...
...then bats ball to the right with his other paw. Ball: now you're **juggling me** you sonofa...
*HUGE WHAP! KICK* Ball: AAAIIIIEEEEE HATE YOUUUUUU!
Ball: could you please stop hitting me so hard. I have a headache... Lucky: *nudge*
Hey brother! Want play with ball too? Printer: *humm* Ball: anyone got some %^$#@ing asprin?!
Lucky and the kind man who rescued him are busy adventuring and living life to it's fullest. **THE END** (for now) PS. Lucky's brother the laser printer is also happy to have been rescued and is printing away in pure joy. Later, everyone!
