The Important Thing is Not to Stop Questioning...and everyone, almost, loves Wayne Porter. Well a few do.
Sam- open sourcing his life while I open source my luggage.
Wayne is known to work, sometimes too much.
Sam contemplates weather temperatures and does a quick comparison shopping scan for shoes.
Sam learns that Monkey Phone Calls were mentioned in the Dead Sea Scrolls.
Three beers later and Wayne is ready to talk business. The same pizza on the table was never refrigerated and consumed over a 36-hr period. Gonzo fashion.
Wayne contemplates how many minerals and vitamins are actually in Miller Lite.
Sam keeps on blogging after our discussions, and after a hell of alot of Miller Lite.
The cigarettes get open sourced.
Deep thoughts from the Grizzly Adams look-alike.
Thoughts get deeper, so deep Sam forgets to light his cig.
Eureka! Sam figures out how to create a real Klein Bottle using Miller Lite cans and scissors.
He also solves Xeno's Paradoxes five minutes later.
Checks his proof and realizes he is wrong.
On both counts. That is ok- Never Stop Questioning.
Or contemplating, challenging the status quo or going against conventional thought.
Wayne figures out how to operate the flash.
Filters gone wrong.
Sam- Still joting notes.
Sam wears his “I Love Wayne Porter” shirt available at IHateWaynePorter.com making his contribution to a small Appalachian Little League headed up by Revenews Blogger, Jimmy Daniels. Kids- disregard the Miller Lite. Did I mention Same loves Ubuntu and he wants to open source his life? I think a shave would be a good first step.
At last- Windows boots and the Blue Screen of Death fills the room.
Blue Screen of What? Sam goes off on his Ubuntu mantra and we must edit the next few photos where the coffee table is thrown at Mr. Harrelson and spackling the hole in the wall.
Wayne hears Sam's Cell Phone go off for the 2353th time around his “Twitter Experiment”. Wayne goes comparison shopping for cell-blocking paint and also employs the SourceForge community to find a software antidote.
Imagine his dismay when he can't get cashback and must resort to standard methods-like a hammer.
Found the hammer- actually a large mallet.
Porter thinks HE has the answer to the Klein Bottle Sam was working on.
Nope. Wrong.
He can draw one, but physical manifestation proves elusive. Note Peril Sensitive Goggles...Goggles not Googles.
The Important Thing is Not to Stop Questioning, plaster Einstein on your Ubuntu laptop, buy I Hate Wayne Porter tee-shirts from CafePress and drink beer- actually this is not beer but a potion Sam made that he swears can produce a 10% conversion rate even on session only cookie duration deals. Sam hatches plot to sell at Summit.
We contemplate raiding the cleaning cart for food supplies. Sam believes bottle of AJAX (no Web 2.0 pun intended) will prove invaluable in his 10% Conversion Potion. Whatever- we lift it and leave a few crumpled bills left over from a trip to Canada. Did I say lift? I meant we borrowed it- we did return what was left.
Our cleaning lady is nonplussed and you really cannot blame her. We don't.
We bungee jumped this...and were asked to leave if we EVER did it again.
Our fan club arrives. They mistook Sam's blogs for a treatise on breaking language barriers. I am not sure why- Sam is fluent in English and Hebrew, and sometimes Sumarian. I know of no Japanese skills.
The ghost of Hunter S. Thompson adds a Lysergic acid diethylamideian effect to Las Vegas at Night. We suspect someone put it into the USB port of the camera...it wasn't us.
Wayne meets up with NetExpontentially cool Peter Fig and Chris Kramer.
Wayne talks about the time Chris Kramer accidentally ate a scallop and derailed his life. Chris'- not Wayne who has no qualms about consuming sea life. This is a true story- ask him.
Peter Fig. CEO of NetExponent and Revenews blogger gives Wayne Porter the colleague photo opp.
Chris Kramer indulges Mr. Porter too. It is the soul patch that defines Mr. Kramer- and a disdain for scallops.
Jim Kukral, Editor and Wayne Porter, co-founder of Revenews.com Spin to Win?
Actually Jim claims this is a time machine allowing anyone to go back and undo any media buy with a CTR < .03%
Wayne doesn't buy the Time Machine ROI thing, but indulges Mr. Kukral who probably bought one of Harrelson's potions.
Jim Kukral of Revenews.com and blogging CostPerNews.com fireball Sam Harrelson try the Time Machine thing and pretend it worked. Gonzo Creep is starting...
Jim is in one of those urban online marketing gangs- Sam is obviously in some sort of Secret Society- perhaps the Illuminati.
Chris Parks of Blair.com and Wayne Porter of Revenews.com/FSL blur themselves for the camera...it takes skill to blur oneself.
Wayne Porter of Revenews.com corners Revenue Today, Editor-in-Chief, Lisa Picarille. That is not really H20 in the bottle but a strange brew that Sam claims will allow anyone to achieve a 10% conversion rate on a session-only cookie deal. You will note this recurrent theme popping up over and over- the solution in a bottle thing...take from it what you will.
Sam Harrelson of CostPerNews.com poses with Alexandra and Lisa of Revenue Today. Note the Grizzly Adams looks is gone as Sam discovers that razors are not only for EMO kids and he open sources his face.
Sam, Alexandra and Lisa Part Deux at the Affiliate Jam.
Wayne Porter of Revenews.com and Alexandra, the latest addition to Revenue Today smile. Well Wayne does.
Alexandra and Wayne Part Deux. Note that is not water in Alexandra's bottle but the same B.S. session-only 10% conversion potion Sam Harrelson continues to hawk like a voodoo lady. I think it converts better than the reported qualities of the potion.
Once again the camera's USB port experiences a flashback during a Jimi Hendrix song.
Brian Littleton, CEO of ShareASale, and musically talented dresses as a Second Life avatar to raise funds for charity.
Wayne is able to insert the camera into Sam Harrelson's ear and took this shot of Calcium ions and the resultant biochemical cascade and neurotransmitter action inside of Sam's brain. You don't see this every day...
In the background we can make out Anne of CleverMoms.com making a long over due book deal.
Brian Littleton of ShareSale is hit with a flamingo, Missy Ward checks the script. Connie Berg is probably laughing. Sam and I postulate this is a metaphor for the Second Life Furry Movement and broken CSS all over MySpace as people reject the common notions of aesthetics and define it in their own terms. Brian's terms are somewhat...well the the neon blue thong. Where and how can someone source something like that? What motivates them to make it? Is this the Long Tail?
Wayne Porter blacks out after Ozzy Littleton takes the stage. Porter is able to leave the mosh pit (not pictured) under his own power but is on the ten-day disabled list.
See that big check? It is for charity and the amount is...
Brian pastes more stickers and scraps of random stuff to his body trying to achieve flight. Think Iccarus with less sense.
Good gosh. I think that lady is slipping a dollar bill into the blue super shorts...now we know we these are produced.
Missy and Shawn, conference organizers, discuss security precautions. Note that is not Miller Lite, but a potion being hawked by Sam Harrelson (ok Wayne Porter too.) that is reported to return a guaranteed 10% conversion rate on session only cookies.
No comment needed or can be found.
Still Captionless and speechless.
The Flamingo is finally recognized as the mascot of Connie Berg's FlamingoWorld.com. No real flamingos were harmed in raising money for this charity. Brian, however, may require therapy. Short and long term.
Showtime.
The opening comments which I didn't catch because I was busy selling the Harrelson 10% Session Only Potion. Which DOES convert really well and we aren't even using cookies.
We were going to request “Fly Robin Fly” or “Dance of the Sugar Plum Faires”. However as Gonzo events go, the coin landed on neither heads or tails but on its side- which is nature's way of saying- don't interfere in the affairs of wizards, or faires, or CEO's plastered with bits of stuff including fairy wings, flamingo caps, and blue thongs that sparkle. This should be in the revised addition of the ClueTrain Manifesto.r
Another Brian L. fan (she is always quiet) steps up to get a shot for the tabloids after her last submission of BatBoy was rejected. We knew it would be- we have BatBoy in a cave held captive.
Carolyn Tang, of ShareASale, roots on her CEO.
Everyone waits with anticipation. Sam Harrelson is still selling the Conversion Potion.
Lisa Picarelle's camera is not hopped on Gonzo Magic like ours. That or she needs some glasses.
We believe Lisa has mastered the camera.
The Paparazzi are out in full force. Don't let the smiley face fool you. It is merely a clever ruse.
Yes the event raised $23,000 for Big Brothers and Big Sisters. We hope the next event will raise funds to get Brian on “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” and a makeover.
Carolyn Tang shows her Chicago Cubs and ShareASale pride. Funny, I went to a Cubs game with the crew a couple of years ago and it primarily consisted of throwing things at Barry Bonds. I have to add he sometimes threw them back making it entertaining and almost as dangerous as a soccer match in England.
Camera evasion. We'll get you Ms. Tang. Little known trivia- Carolyn applies the “Prisoner's Dilemma” argument to analyze bidding stategies and best practices for merchants and partners in PPCSE's. No joke. I read the notes.
Wayne spots Jessica Luthi of U.K. based AffiliateProgramAdvice.com. It seems she has figured out the United States really is a fun place to come...Welcome again Jess.
Dale- haven't met him yet, but that drink in his water glass- you guessed it- Harrelson Conversion potion. Dale bought out of pity I think...note the lime wedge- it can cause unknown effects.
No- not Publisher's Clearing House.
Announcing the charity take.
Correction- the total sum raised was $23,000 USD. Yes, the marketing community, or many of them, really do care about civic duties and charity. Bravo to all of you.
Applause.
Revenge on Lisa Picarelle for ending up in her publication's Gossip Column where my Senior V.P. of Marketing found it and wondered what in the world I am doing hanging out with Emmy Award winners...(Did I mention that potion has other effects?)
Yes- Ms. Picarelle knows I am plotting.
And vows revenge I think... (Next photo where she throws camera at Wayne Porter has been edited out for violent content.)
Brad Waller, MIT PHD and car racer talks with Stephanie of Converseon.
Appears a deal was struck on amicable terms.
Alexandra and to her left “The Head Honcho” of Revenue Today magazine. Note we sold her Harrelson's potion but she diluted it with a lime wedge so we are not responsible for the effects.
Wade Tonkin of Forge Corporation chats it up with colleagues. His CEO, Jonathan is rumored lost on a long flight. We can confirm this because the bar still had scotch in stock- just kidding Jonathan only does Perrier. I later confirmd he arrived safe and sound!
Wade and Wayne...yes a deal was inked.
Wayne is happy about it, and Wade is wondering what he has gotten himself into.
Random crowd shot. Could be Sam Harrelson, but without the beard- I cannot tell in the dim light.
Same talks String Theory and Alexandra has to wonder...
Lisa Picarelle and Shawn Collins smile nicely for the camera. The USB “problems” seem to have abated.
Shawn Collins belongs to the same gang as Jim Kukral- funny it is Brad who runs “AdJungle”...Welcome to the Jungle we got fun and games we got everything you want...etc, etc. for your 80's musical flashback.
Shawn Collins of AffiliateSummit.com and Wayne Porter of Revenews.com / FSL pose for a shot. Later Wayne tells Shawn that the Yankees have nothing on the Cincinnati Reds.
Carsten Cumbrowski, resident German-native blogger at Revenews and Revenews.com co-founder Wayne Porter go a little out of focus after talking Thomas Mann and Death in Venice...
It gets worse after Herman Hesse discussions. Wayne knew of Hesse's Kurgast, but was not aware Hesse wrote a novel called Steppenwolf and thought he was referring to the classic rock band.
In the end they did get into focus when talks turned to business matters and the state of the industry.
Harrelson's potion makes the rounds, and I know from discussions this individual has a journalism background. He might be looking for a story or preparing to go Gonzo.
Ha! Carolyn Tang of ShareASale.com and Wayne Porter of Revenews.com talk fashion- or Wayne's lack thereof.
Ms. Tang grants forgiveness and long time colleagues show their friendship. Did I mention ShareASale has a no spyware/adware policy? No wonder I am giving Carolyn a hug. Draw your ethical lines and stick to them, if parties cross the boundary ask them to step back or apply a ballbat. It has a high conversion rate.
Lisa Picarelle and Jim Kukral stop strategy discussions for this shot.
Wayne Porter poses with one his heroes Kellie Stevens of AffiliateFairPlay. Wayne loves Kellie's dogged research and the fact that an entertaining Ethereal trace with ad injection and cookie stuffing is not lost on her. You can bet they will talk some shop later on...complete with packet logs, video, and screen caps. Got Malware? Let's hope not.
Three guys. One photo. Amazing how pixels can do that.
Esteemed Revenews Blogger Brad Waller and Vice President of Business and Affiliate Development for EPage gets the first “bad batch” of Sam Harrelson's 10% Session Only Conversion Potion. The effects were only temporary but Brad signed several contracts he probably will not remember signing.
Loxly- armed and dangerous.
Sword and Dagger is the original style of Florentine fighting, Loxly goes modern with dual cameras.
She wants to duel at ten paces...very well.
The sword gets a hit.
So we do a ten-paces back-to-back duel. No idea how you judge the winner as no one was injured.
The crowd continues to enjoy the music and various singers. Most of them. Efforts are appreciated.
Wayne Porter corners Connie Berg en route to the stage...for a quick photo shot.
He manages to get a smile from Mrs. Berg too...could be the odd angle on the hat or a bit of gossip he told her...no one will know.
The band kicks into higher gear.
Scott Jangro (is JangroCam going to come back? I passed away hours watching Scott work at BeFree years ago) chats with Beth Kirsch, Revenews Blogger and Marketer for Riya.com. I would quote Tolkien, but few would get it.
Jim, Wade, Sam, Scott, Beth from right to left. See that bottle in front of Sam? You guessed it. So itis actually left to right depending on if you use a mirror to view this photo.
The photo uses sign language since the band was so loud I could not hear Mr. Harrelson's response to my question about the gizmo in front of us. If you look closely he is using his hands to honor my home state of West Virginia- note the clever use of the thumb to symbolize the eastern panhandle, the middle finger as the northern panhandle, however his arthritis gets in the way of a proper state silhouette. Sam knows of my strong regional nationalism and since we both hail from Appalachian cultures this is understood. In no way should onlookers take this as Mr. Harrelson making a derogatory response to my comment and question. Don't try this on non-Appalachians though- remember different cultures- different meanings.
Scott Jangro of Jangro.com toasts Sam Harrelson's attempts of using light therapy to ease his sinus problems. Wayne is eating an apple and chuckling to himself because Sam doesn't realize he just injected an RFID chip into his head and Porter has erected a beta version of his RFID grid. Sam didn't even get the chance to click “I agree”- like many software programs out there.
Everyone is growing tired, but I am more tired and darn cold in the desert.
Wayne Porter gets a hug from a clever mom, Anne Fognano of CleverMoms.com and successful affiliate and story teller. Wayne is still waiting on Anne's book and media kit and will keep reminding her of this every time he sees her.
Sam Harrelson reunites with colleagues at RexTopia.
He is still reuniting...but happy to find former colleagues- one of the key benefits to Affiliate Summit. Meeting new people, finding colleagues of old and forging or renewing relationships.
This guy replaced Penn, leaving us with only Teller- who didn't have much to say.
You thought we were kidding. It's late but we are determined to find somewhere desert like to freeze and discuss innovation.
It's late and cold.
Sam claims this plant is edible. It won't matter- we are going to die out here- Blair Witch style. The card is full so we can spare you the rescue photos. Watch the news.
