"Well, he parked his car there and then his whole family went surfing. When they came back, they were like, "WTF, where's our car?" He claims he set the parking brake, but I'm skeptical."

""Wind blew it over?" Sounds like a pretty thin excuse from a drunk guy."

"Sorry, they took my stash from me at customs."

"Hook a brother up?"

"I'm too lazy to write up the story behind all these photos, ask me in person!"